Respect Is Like Money: Some Ask For It, Others Earn It

Respect is a universal value that we should all practice unconditionally. However, there are those who impose it on their own person without considering others, claiming a right that they do not know about closeness or empathy. Because respect is the absence of exploitation and if one is not capable of offering it, neither should one demand it.

The etymology of words always teaches us wise things. In this case, if we delve into the roots of the word “respect” we find “respectus” which in turn derives from “specere” which means to look again, review and above all “have the wisdom to see something in its essence or in their individuality ” .

Without respect, everything is lost: love, honesty, integrity … Few values ​​are as essential as knowing how to respect each other, with our differences and peculiarities.

We have all lived in our own skin that moment in which we have not been respected in some aspect. Injustices are carried out in all areas: family, school, work, partner … We need to reflect a little more on this term, because as Kant said on one occasion, with respect, dignity for oneself develops and for those around us.

Respect always begins with oneself

Respect always begins with oneself, because the higher our level of self-esteem, the more we respect others. It may seem obvious, we know , but not because things are logical we always practice them, as in this case.

• Having a positive attitude towards ourselves reaffirming personal worth and, in addition, knowing how to act in balance according to our values ​​and needs.

• Respect for oneself is knowing that we have the right to be happy, to defend ourselves against injustices, to have our own spaces and a voice to make ourselves heard.

• It is also necessary to feel worthy of everything we achieve, strengthening our self-esteem and, in turn, being responsible for each success, each choice made and even each mistake made.

If we understand and internalize each of these aspects, we will be aware in turn, that also whoever is before us is worthy of the same things. Because who is unable to respect himself, will not feel anything when it comes to hurting others.

Disrespect or the inability to “put yourself in the other’s shoes”

Erich Fromm dealt very fully with the subject of respect in his book “The Art of Loving.” For the famous philosopher, humanist and psychoanalyst, this term could never go hand in hand with fear or imposition. If we respect someone, we should not do it out of fear or submission, as sometimes happens in some parent-child relationships or even in couple relationships.

Respect should actually be an attitude practiced from admiration: “I respect you because I admire your way of being, because I am close to you and empathize with your person.” Obviously, we know that this is not always the case, and that many times we must deal with this type of behavior.

• There are those who think that their person is crowned with the best values, the best aptitudes, and for this reason, they demand an almost reverential respect, minimizing the rights of others.

• Those who do not respect themselves, those who lack initiative, self-esteem, need others to show them respect in order to have power, to feed the ego of their own deficiencies. They are very destructive behaviors.

Respect is above all accepting others as they are, while being sensitive to their needs. If the person lacks empathy and is unable to “put on” the shoes of others, it will be impossible for that approach to take place, that act of humility and tolerance.

Practicing respect costs nothing and does a long time

Respecting others is the noblest intrinsic value that we can practice on a day-to-day basis. Now, as we have pointed out previously, we must never offer it by submission or because it is imposed on us, every sincere act must proceed from the freedom of our own heart, never from fear.

To respect is to tolerate thoughts different from ours, it is to accept that there are other ways of understanding the world and that all of them are just as legal. If we do not tolerate that our children have their own voice and initiatives, we will be vetoing their personal growth, and consequently, we will be acting with disrespect.

In turn, the couple that is nurtured by the roots of equality, honesty and the complicity of small things, builds healthy and above all happy relationships. Because there is respect, because there is harmony, the same that we must place in each person who enters or passes through our lives, also for each animal and for nature itself.

Because respect is the essence of nobility, that gift that should always define the human being …

Images courtesy Claudia Tremblay