Resilience, Success And Recognition, An Indispensable Circle
In previous installments, we have seen the role of resilience in everyday life. As we mentioned, Positive Psychology defines it as the ability to adapt to difficult situations, extract valuable knowledge from them and overcome them. How is resilience related to success? How important is the way we explain ourselves and react to achievements?
Dedication, merit, help and luck
Self-confident people tend to understand their accomplishments as the consequence largely of their skill and dedication. They do not mind admitting external help, and they accept that participation so that the objective is achieved.
This recognition is key when it comes to getting used to thinking more resiliently. When we admit our real intervention to achieve success, we gain confidence and see achieving future goals as a possibility closer to our reality. Consequently, we are better prepared to handle and capitalize on mistakes and setbacks, by being convinced that we are capable of overcoming them and moving forward.
On the contrary, when we consider that success is basically due to luck, we lose confidence, because luck has to do with chance and not with commonality. Beyond the fact that there is a quota of luck, the continuity of success is related to the belief in our ability to take advantage of characteristics of different situations. By feeling responsible for our achievements, we are not as vulnerable to the negative effects of mistakes.
Accept satisfaction
” When I get something I want, I feel happy! I enjoy it ,” a client told me in session. Stopping to enjoy, rather than turning to another topic almost immediately after reaching something, is more useful and necessary than it may seem.
Reflection exercise
WITH PENCIL AND PAPER IN HAND, DESCRIBE THREE SUCCESS SITUATIONS SIGNIFICANT TO YOU AND RELATIVELY RECENT, WITHIN THE LAST TWO YEARS.
* Before starting these activities, how confident were you of doing them well?
* Once you achieved your goal, how did you explain what happened?
* When reading your description of these three situations, do you find any coincidences in the way you explain them?
* How did you react in each case?
* Do you think they could be linked in some way to memories of how your parents or other significant adults understood success during your childhood? This question invites you to think about how people who served as models handled success and whose example could be influencing your current behavior.
Reinforce what makes us feel good
Practicing activities related to our interests and strengths also makes us feel like the owner of our achievements. In addition to benefiting psycho-physical health, they reinforce our sense of ownership and control over success.
A resilient attitude implies daring, when necessary, to do things that are not related to our strengths, to be patient, to persevere.
Many people have come to my practice so focused on their problems and fears that they practically forget about the activities that make them feel good. However, it is precisely when we approach complex situations that we need to maintain a certain balance and make room on the agenda for tasks that refresh us with that feeling of power, enjoyment, and joy, when we achieve success.
