Interesting Conversations Boost Well-being

Interesting conversations generate changes in our brain. They are a direct injection of serotonin, as well as an exceptional way to connect from emotions, complicity and trust. Few dynamics are more enriching for the human being than that unique space where to create alliances, where to learn, surprise ourselves, find relief and energy …

Judith E. Glaser, an anthropologist and conversational intelligence expert, used to say something very interesting. Our brain does not speak English or Spanish or French, the brain speaks through emotions, and they are the ones that give meaning to everything we do. The conversations, the dialogue that we have in our day to day with the people around us, can improve our well-being or, on the contrary, weaken it.

Somehow, we will all have experienced the following at some time. Sometimes, when spending a moment of time talking with someone, we perceive how we run out of energy, without motivation and sometimes impregnated with a certain negativity. On the other hand, the opposite can happen. Suddenly we meet someone and an immediate connection emerges, the dialogue flows, the talk is lively, spontaneous and we find a lot of dimensions and similar tastes.

The brain loves the latter type of experiences. It gives us endorphins, oxytocin and serotonin, stress is reduced and the world, almost without knowing how, acquires a transcendent and revealing meaning. Regularly seeking these types of experiences with people who are significant to us means gaining quality of life.

Interesting conversations change our brains

Carl Rogers, a famous humanistic psychologist, used to say that he liked few things more than to bring out new ideas and perspectives in people during therapy. Something like this can only be achieved through dialogue, through a series of key processes that for Rogers framed therapy: they were acceptance of the other, empathy and authenticity.

These dimensions were essential not only to connect with the other, but they were also decisive to generate advances and clinical improvements. Thus, something that experts in human communication know well is that conversations are more than sharing a certain type of information. In fact, interesting conversations have the virtue of causing emotional changes of great intensity.

Our precious talks, a neural alchemy of sensations and brain waves

Let’s admit it, those enriching dialogues in which we create safe spaces, get carried away between confidences, learnings, discoveries and intimacies do not happen very often. We may barely be able to count on the fingers of one hand the people with whom we have really interesting conversations. But when we meet with them, we come out strong, full of positivity and enthusiasm.

It’s not by chance. That feeling of well-being is the result of a fascinating neural alchemy. That comforting mood is shaped by higher than normal levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Furthermore, something that we also know thanks to a study carried out at the Basque Center for Cognition, Brain and Language (BCBL) in Spain, is that during those interesting conversations, our brain is ‘synchronized’ with that of our interlocutor.

What does this mean? Basically, the electrical brain activity of those two people who are having a conversation share the same neural synchrony to facilitate the connection between the two. Brain waves work at the same level.

Interesting conversations build trust

Trust is the social glue that binds people together. Our brain, so to speak, is designed to favor that type of alliance with our fellow human beings, it is a dimension that we need to feel and that is very precious to us. However, as we well know, trust is earned and we need several signals to build this bond with someone.

One way to build it is through interesting conversations. Those moments of enriching dialogue that we have with a friend, our partner, a co-worker, etc., wire the neural bond of trust. Oxytocin, our prosocial hormone par excellence, comes into action in these processes, which favors us feeling safe, relaxed and connected with whoever we face.

Dialogues of enthusiasm and positivity that transform us

Interesting conversations also have another virtue: they are capable of transforming us. These exchanges of information, emotions, ideas and sensations created through the word, originate a joint transformation. They are dynamics where you can discover other perspectives, where you can spread enthusiasm, wisdom, support and trust. Nobody comes out unscathed from these moments created between two or more people where we win not only in personal development, but also in physical and psychological health.

To conclude, something that is pointed out to us from the field of neuroscience is that two connected brains are better than one. When people enjoy those moments with someone who is significant to us, the mind works on another level. Dyadic or paired communication reduces stress, enhances creativity, strengthens our emotional and social ties, and fuels us with enthusiasm.

Let us therefore not hesitate to look in our day to day for that moment in which to delight ourselves with interesting conversations. Nothing is more enriching than connecting with other people, than sailing together and growing as human beings.