How To Relate To An Autistic Person

If we think of a child with autism, we may get carried away by the most well-known feature of this disorder: self-absorption. We imagine an extravagant little boy, absorbed in his reality, who does not play or talk to anyone. So much so, that he ignores the rest of the world, including his parents and closest relatives. That is why it is so important to know how to relate to an autistic person.

Autism is a pervasive developmental disorder, which affects the person throughout their life and manifests before the age of 3 years. According to the DSM-5, it is characterized by deficiencies in communication and social relationships; due to the alteration of behavior patterns and restricted, repetitive and stereotyped interests and activities.

Explain your emotions

Subjects with this type of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) suffer from what is known as mental blindness. A term based on the theory of mind, which refers to the inability to attribute mental states to oneself and others. This is closely related to a lack of empathy. That is, they cannot read emotions, nor can they express their own.

Therefore, to relate to an autistic person properly patience and understanding are essential. To socialize with him, it is essential that you explain how you feel and the reason for your emotions. If you are able to establish a good connection with the autistic child or adult, their introversion, lack of social reciprocity and their emotional responses may be diminished and favor that interaction.

Adapt social rules to their values

On many occasions, autistics have a strong sense of justice. They can even take it to the extreme. Let’s take an example. We go with a teenager suffering from this disorder to a concert with his favorite singer. But there is a long line waiting to enter the pavilion.

This child may believe that he is at the beginning of the queue, and not at the end despite having arrived last, because he is his number one fan. Your conviction can cause you to push those who are waiting and sneak in without hesitation or remorse. But keep in mind that for him, it is not skipping the queue, but fair.

For this reason, the person accompanying you must once again show their tolerance and patience and explain that when you arrive at a new place, you have to stand at the end of the line. By explaining how that social rule fits into their values, great strides can be made.

Make gradual changes

Another peculiarity of autism is the concern to preserve the invariance of the environment. Due to their hypersensitivity to change, they may present discomfort in the face of irrelevant modifications, which other people perceive as unimportant or very subtle. For example, they may feel discomfort when the curtains are opened or when they find their chair offset a few inches.

The introduction or explanation of these small alterations in their environment are essential. If they are not notified or asked for “permission” of these changes, they can overreact and even self-harm.

Routine, stereotyped behaviors

This hypersensitization is closely related to the importance of routine for these little ones. In fact, it is usually a crucial aspect in their lives, without which, the difficulties to relate socially increase exponentially. Therefore, when interacting with an autistic person, the customs and activities that they carry out must be taken into account, respecting their time, their space and the way they are carried out.

Consider their abilities

Around 60% of autistic people have an IQ below 50. This shows a significant intellectual deficit. However, it is also true that these children obtain better results in tests that measure manipulative or visuospatial abilities ; as well as those that evaluate automatic memory.

Don’t cut off his self-stimulation

It is a characteristic symptom of this type of ASD, the performance of self-stimulating behaviors (repetitive and stereotyped). For example, swinging, clapping hands, turning objects, always wearing the same clothes, showing a constant obsession when talking about the same topic or repeating words that you have heard (echolalia).

These behaviors are persistent and tend to worsen over time. Its function is to provide the child with sensory or kinesthetic feedback. But beware! Because in order to relate to an autistic person in an adequate way, it must be taken into account that cutting off or interfering with that moment of automatism can be counterproductive. It is more convenient to systematically ignore him or reinforce other types of behaviors that motivate the child.

As can be seen, maintaining proper social interaction with a person with autism is difficult. Therefore, knowing this disorder in depth is the first desirable requirement for all those who wish to establish an affective bond or a good connection with it.