According To Science, Excessive Self-esteem Decreases Empathy

Many may not be surprised to learn that excessive self-esteem lowers empathy. This trait, that of working with a poorly adjusted self-concept -based, as a rule, of that over-dimensioned self-esteem-, usually brings with it problems of coexistence, conflicts and behaviors that draw a clear narcissistic profile. Therefore, it is not easy to understand why those who live with a crown on disconnect from others.

Self-esteem is that element that, when it is missing or weakened, brings with it many of the most common problems. Low self-efficacy, insecurity, anxiety and even the very substratum of depression have in many cases the lack of health of this psychological tendon.

Now, if lack of self-esteem is a problem, so is a high level of it. As always happens in life itself and in the universe of mental well-being itself, deficiencies and lack of self-control often make the challenge of maintaining a balance impossible. What is striking is how the fact of “enjoying” a high self-concept and personal appreciation completely distorts empathic competence.

We analyze it.

Why Does Excessive Self-Esteem Decrease Empathy?

We may find it striking, but when experts point out that excessive self-esteem has a potential problem, it is not by chance. The moment we have someone who praises himself in an inordinate way, he also expects others to do so. When we are faced with a person who perceives himself better than others, he begins to see those around him with coldness and contempt.

Relational problems, disagreements at work, difficulties to socialize … Low self-concept and weak self-esteem put anyone in a state of continued helplessness. However, living at the height of self-appreciation leads to aggressive behaviors. Thus, and according to social psychology, this is frequently seen in the workplace.

The theory of self-verification and high self-esteem

William Swann is a professor of social and personality psychology at the University of Texas and an author of the theory of self-verification. What does this concept consist of? We are facing an interesting and clarifying approach that allows us to understand why excessive self-esteem lowers self-esteem.

The person with an excessive level of self-esteem is constantly “self-checking.” That is, you need to reaffirm that everything you do, think and decide. In this way, you reinforce your vision of yourself and keep it safe. Now, the problem comes with the fact that you expect others to do it too.

He wants and expects all those around him to verify and validate his self-concept, every trait, every competence, action or deliberation. In this way, Dr. William Swan emphasizes the fact that this can be very problematic in the area of ​​organizations and the company.

When we have a leader, a manager or coworker obsessed with others reinforcing their abilities, attributes and skills, it is easy for them to end up disconnected from their own environment, with little knowledge of nearby realities … that become alien. Empathy is almost absent in these personality profiles.

The entropic narcissist: when excessive self-esteem diminishes empathy

We pointed it out at the beginning: excessive self-esteem is a common characteristic in a narcissistic personality. Studies, such as those carried out at the University of Georgia (United States), indicate that self-love and self-validation have two very different portraits.

On the one hand, we have the person who with a positive self-esteem is capable of going from the inside out. That is, I have a healthy vision and perception of myself and, in turn, I am able to appreciate, respect and connect with the reality of the other. However, when we say that excessive self-esteem lowers self-esteem, it does so because the narcissistic personality applies an “entropic vision”.

All psychological mobilization, all attentional, emotional and motivational resources go to oneself. They do not empathize, they are not able to appreciate or feel the realities of others. Moreover, in most cases, by not receiving the attention and external validation they need, they can apply aggressive and disrespectful attitudes and behaviors.

The serious consequences of nurturing excessive self-esteem

Excessive self-esteem decreases empathy and this has an evident impact on a relational and social level. When someone is not able to understand and give visibility to who they are in front of, they end up marking distances. This causes in many cases that these figures end up in the void of ostracism.

However, there is more. Research works, such as those carried out by psychologists Carol Dweck and Ellen Leggett, show us revealing data in a study from 2003. First, excessive self-esteem is correlated with a fixed mentality, that is, they are inflexible people, not very open to changes and challenges because they fear showing incompetence.

Likewise, they are blind to their failures, they do not accept criticism, they are immature and poor managers of their emotions. This shows us once again that extremes – also in psychological constructs – are problematic. An overly positive self-evaluation is not only dangerous.

It is the germ for relational aggressiveness, an enemy for coexistence and, also, a challenge to be able to create respectful and productive work environments. Let’s keep it in mind.