Intolerance Of Frustration In Relationships
Intolerance of frustration in relationships is one of the great workhorses. There are those who do not accept certain reactions, decisions or behaviors of the other and demand a change. When this does not happen, anger, anger and frustration arise, because when there is no tolerance or acceptance, it leads to these clearly problematic behaviors.
This reality is not new. Low tolerance for frustration is one of the most common emotions and, in turn, one of the worst managed by human beings. Something that we should have overcome already in childhood creeps into adult life. It is loaded like that backbone of life that we never examined again. And the havoc it causes can be immense.
Therefore, it is easy to reach a relationship with that bomb embedded within us, that which, at the minimum, explodes. He does it when we meet some opposition, when some things are not as one wants and hopes. So, one not only demands, but demands that those realities that do not please change, like the child who does not want to eat vegetables and asks for dessert directly.
The situations that can be created when someone does not know how to handle their frustration have little comedy. It generates arguments, discomfort, distances and an immense emotional impact. While it is true that we should all reach the heart of an affective relationship with the matter of frustration that has already been overcome, this is one of the most recurrent problems today.
Intolerance of frustration in relationships, how does it appear?
A person who knows how to handle frustration lives with less stress. In addition, he has a better awareness of his emotions and knows how to channel them, calm them and use them to his advantage. Achieving this personal craft takes time, but once it is achieved, not only does life change, but we also perceive clear improvements in our dealings with people.
Now, as we have pointed out, the null effectiveness to handle this dimension appears more and more frequently. Thus, something that we should take into account is a piece of information that is pointed out to us by studies such as those carried out by Dr. John Dollar, from the University of London (United Kingdom). This work, published in 2013, warned of the clear relationship between low tolerance for frustration and aggressive behavior.
Aggressive behavior does not refer exclusively to possible physical violence. In fact, the most common, the most recurrent is psychological, where words and attitudes restrict the rights of the other. Thus, intolerance of frustration in relationships often leads to the latter type of abuse. So let’s see how it appears.
My wishes are my needs … and I want them now
The person with low frustration confuses wants with needs; what he wants at a given moment, he wants it now. In case of not obtaining it, the reproach appears, the projection of guilt on the partner and the bad mood.
What’s more, sometimes they usually resort to silence or the law of ice, where they ignore the other for a while. Childish behaviors carried out in adults that bring, as we can imagine, serious consequences.
Emotional explosions, what I feel controls me and I project it on you
Another characteristic of intolerance to frustration in relationships is the inability to handle emotions. In this way, the person who does not know how to handle this reality, lives constantly harassed by his own anger, by rage and anger. Far from acknowledging his inability to control his emotions, he limits himself to blaming the other for his discomfort.
If you don’t do what I want, I’ll leave you
When the person dominated by frustration does not get what he wants, he threatens to break up. In fact, relationships that constantly deal with this problem, it is common that they have left it several times and reinitiated their relationship other times. It is a vicious cycle of wear and tear and blackmail, the projection of blame, reproach and constant suffering.
I live with a person who does not know how to handle frustration, what can I do?
Life with a person who is eternally frustrated has the taste of unhappiness. We are facing an immature personality and, someone with this profile, will not only shape immature behaviors, but will often lead to passive-aggressive behaviors. Blackmail, victimhood, emotional manipulation, reproach, constant anger will appear …
Whoever gets frustrated and accumulates anger, because we are not as expected, does not understand acceptance and tolerance. The best thing in these cases is not to give in to the demands of those who want to control us to appease their frustration. What you have to do is argue, set limits and explain why it is not possible to give in on everything. A relationship is knowing how to be a team, not living in an emotional dictatorship.
In case we do not see changes or improvements, we will have to make a decision. Because it is not our task to re-educate the other, being a couple is not being a father or a mother. Once we reach adulthood, everyone must be aware of their shortcomings and work on them and a priority on our path to maturity is precisely knowing how to tolerate frustration.
