Handsome 0 – Ugly 1

A popular belief is that, in the end, those who are most successful in love are the ugly. Maybe the handsome men are awakening desires and attraction wherever they go, but at the moment of truth what really hooks is an interesting personality. This is not to say that handsome people lack it, but human beings function by stereotypes and, unfortunately, beautiful people are questioned about their intelligence or personality. On the other hand, those people who are less physically attractive are usually attributed a greater sense of humor, more charisma and humility.

But does all this have any scientific basis? makes sense? Research studies, and popular opinion, seem to support it. We are more attracted to someone interesting and less handsome, than someone pretty but without any grace.

Being handsome is not always enough

First impressions count a lot. The first thing we see and value is physical appearance, and this will influence how we interpret their way of being. It is what is called in Psychology the “halo effect”. Thus, if we like the physique of the person with whom we speak, we will unconsciously value everything else in a positive way. And vice versa.

But, if one thing is clear, without the need for scientific results, it is that a pleasant physique is not enough. Of course, it depends on the situation and what you are looking for, but if we are talking about meeting someone who may end up being something else, we need to like their way of being.

Unless what we want with each other is purely physical, we want the time we spend with each other to be fun, enjoyable, and comforting. Therefore, the decisive thing to decide if we like someone is to check that we will laugh, that they have an original way of being and compatible with ours and that motivates us to know more.

What do we look at?

Physical appearance captures attention and determines how we perceive all other traits, but what is it that attracts most about someone’s personality?

Several studies say that what we look at most in someone is their smile. Others point to a sense of humor. Thus, studies carried out by researcher Amy Cuddy from the University of Colorado indicate that when we meet someone we ask ourselves two questions: can we trust that person and can we respect them? In this way, once we pass the filter of physical attraction, what we value the most is if the person transmits honesty to us.

Having that certainty will help us to assess whether we can have confidence in what the other says or does and thus, protect ourselves from possible betrayals. Discovering that the time and effort put into getting to know that person has been in vain is not a pleasant feeling, so we need to have that security.

Therefore, it is important to maintain communication as honest as possible, speak without taking too many detours, show our way of being in the most natural way possible and without trying to give an unrealistic image. Even so, it is common and completely spontaneous that when we are meeting someone, we show the best version of ourselves.

Why do we look for handsome and those who are not win?

Returning to the central theme, why at the moment of truth we prefer to be with someone less handsome than someone with a spectacular physique?   You might think that the handsome have half the job done and that the less handsome have to compensate in some way. Perhaps it is not very misguided, or when it comes to the field of seduction, we see someone more ugly than an Adonis who could arouse more desires in other people.

In Psychology there is another concept that could explain why someone with a worse physique is more captivating in the end, the Pratfall effect. This refers to the tendency for attractiveness to increase or decrease after a mistake is made. In other words, those people who are not perfect generate more sympathy, since they inspire us with greater confidence and respectability. In this sense, someone less physically attractive could give us a greater feeling of closeness and accessibility.

In short, the physical aspect is important, but when it comes to the truth what really captivates is an interesting personality. Therefore, you have to try to get to know the other person better, whatever their appearance. We can always be pleasantly surprised.