Obsession For Success, Epidemic Of The XXI Century?

The obsession with success has become almost synonymous with our personal worth. Not just the success itself, but our obsession with it. When someone is not aiming to earn a lot of money or have an “enviable” job, they often hear questions like, “So what do you aspire to?” . It is as if success, translated into money, has to be the backbone of any life at all times.

How many times have we felt a drop of envy thinking that others were more successful than us? How many times have we compared our car with a higher-end one? Or our house with a bigger one?

Why do we always aspire to more and why do we sometimes maintain that aspiration while being aware of the amount of bitterness we receive in return? Thus, today we ask ourselves:  is it inherent in the human being to want to achieve maximum success or is it a conditioning imposed by society? 

The Obsession for Success: Natural or Cultural?

Since we are little we are bombarded with messages that speak of the ideal life plan. The imposition of a specific ideology on many occasions limits our vision of other points of view. That is, if we are taught to think that success is having a lot of money, we will believe that, ultimately, the goal of human beings is to accumulate money. If we are taught that success is treating others well, our goal will be to try to be good people. Thus, social influence plays a large role in our social and personal aspirations.

There is no natural law that states that the human being must accumulate a lot of money or have an innumerable list of properties. The obsession with success is about a social and cultural imposition. Despite this, many people do not realize it, since, as a general rule, surreal and excessive demands have predominated in society. Thus, if from a young age we associate success with having the best job, it is likely that we believe that this is real success.

Obsession for success and frustration

Some of the most widespread epidemics of the 21st century are depression and anxiety. The WHO (World Health Organization) stated in 2016 that more than 350 million people suffered from depression. And in 2012 he assured that the most worrying thing is that “in 20 years, depression will be the disease that human beings will suffer the most, surpassing cancer and cardiovascular disorders.”

Does the obsession with success have something to do with it? Absolutely. The imposition of unrealistic goals frustrates us to the extent that we do not achieve them. Many people say that their life is a failure because they do not have a good job, they have a “normal” car and live in a “not very big” house. However, they do not appreciate it. It is as if the natural thing was to look at the sky, instead of the horizon or the earth. However, with this they are already richer than the vast majority of the world’s population. Little by little we are approaching a healthier conception of success: being happy here and now.

Appreciating what we have and being headed in a morally correct direction is much more admirable than the desire and eagerness to accumulate material goods and prestige. Moreover, if we look closely at those whose obsession with success is too high, we will appreciate that they are the ones who suffer the most. However, those who care about others and are happy with what they have, enjoy greater happiness. Clarify that being happy with what you have is not synonymous with conformity, but knowing how to enjoy what each of us has in the present moment.

Diogenes and Alexander the Great

The story goes that Alexander the Great wanted to meet Diogenes, who lived in a barrel. In fact, this was one of his few possessions. Some considered him a dog and others a wise man. When Alexander the Great appeared before him, he made him aware of his admiration and they struck up a conversation. Alexander addressed Diogenes saying: “ Ask me what you want. I can give you anything you want, even those that the richest men in Athens would not even dare to dream of ” .

Diogenes had the opportunity to radically change his life. To live in a palace, to enjoy fortunes. However, his response was not what we all would have expected. Diogenes replied:  “Of course. I will not be the one to stop you from showing your affection towards me. I would like to ask you to get out of the sun. That its rays touch me is, right now, my greatest wish. I have no other need and it is also true that only you can give me that satisfaction ”.

Alexander is said to have stated that  “if it had not been Alexander, I would have liked to be Diogenes . ” This anecdote reflects how cultural some needs can be. For Diogenes success was to be calm and enjoy the rays of the sun, for Alexander it was the excessive ambition to conquer more and more lands.

From obsession with success to compassion

Matthieu Ricard, a doctor of molecular biology and a Buddhist monk, has been described as “the happiest man on the planet”. Ricard assures that “ compassion, the intention to eliminate the sufferings of others and the causes of their suffering, linked to altruism, the desire to offer well-being to others is the only unifying concept that allows us to find our way in this labyrinth complex concerns “ .

Ricard, uses “labyrinth of worries” as a synonym for the world in which we move – and to which we have somehow shaped it. And it ensures that compassion gives meaning to our existence. So instead of looking only at our success, happiness and much of the meaning of life goes through taking care of the interests of others.

He adds that happiness “is not just a succession of pleasant experiences. It is a way of being that comes from the cultivation of a set of basic human qualities, such as compassion, inner freedom, inner peace, resilience, etc. ” . And it also gives us the key to developing these qualities: “each of these qualities is a skill that can be cultivated through mental training and altruism . “