How To Overcome The Empty Nest Syndrome
The cycle of life indicates that at a certain age, it is normal to leave home.
The children grow up and at a certain point, they make the decision to independently embark on a new path . Although this is a process that is part of life, the fact of moving from the paternal and maternal bed sometimes causes what is known as “the empty nest syndrome” by the parents.
But, what to do when the children leave home? How to live with the partner again, after so long? How to avoid feeling “old”? These questions usually accompany people who begin to suffer from the “empty nest”, alluding to what happens to birds and their home.
Thus, we can define the empty nest syndrome as the set of negative and nostalgic thoughts and feelings such as the feeling of uncertainty, sadness or loss of the meaning of life, on the part of parents, when their children go home. Suddenly they find themselves alone, after a long period of time, caring for and educating their children.
However, these feelings are usually normal and temporary, the problem is when they perpetuate and become chronic over time, not producing a good adaptation to the new family situation. In addition to the occurrence in time of other factors such as being more aware of the arrival of the “third age”, menopause or andropause and continuous reminiscences.
In this case, it is important, on the one hand, to talk about what happens to parents when their children leave home and, on the other, what happens to them in relation to their marriage.
This situation does not mean that parents are bad people and are not happy because their children marry or become independent, but that sometimes, it is difficult for them to face an empty house, with fewer people living in it and routine changes .
On the other hand, if we place an average of 30 years of age in which the children usually leave home to start a new family or obtain independence, this means that three decades have passed since the last time the marriage was completely alone. (in case they continue together). So a lot of water has flowed under the bridge, as it is popularly said.
Then, a rediscovery of the couple takes place, a reliving of a bygone era that occurred a long time ago and that perhaps they do not even remember or a new stage on which to navigate. It can be the solution or the incentive for mixed feelings. Since both are much more mature than at the beginning, when their children were not yet.
Therefore, starting a routine without children is a task worth doing with joy, not with sadness or longing. It is true that at the beginning it is difficult, but it is the “law of life”. In short, parents at some point were also children who left home to get married, for example.
The umbilical cord is cut when the baby is born, but there are also other ties that bind us and are stronger. The habit of treating children as if they were eternal children, for example, makes things more difficult when the move occurs.
How to cope with the empty nest syndrome?
Here are some recommendations that can help you overcome the empty nest syndrome:
-Adopt a new perspective on the situation : Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, look for the positive ones. For example, you can think about the welfare of your children; If they are okay, you should be too.
-Strengthen the relationship with your partner: It is time to strengthen your partner through activities that you may have postponed, to rediscover yourselves and do things together.
-Expresses what happens to you: it is always appropriate that we verbalize how we feel, even sometimes, sharing it with our loved ones can make us see that we can overcome what happens to us.
-Do things that you like: Sometimes, we put off things we want to do due to daily demands. Now may be the time to get going and get them done. It will help you to think about other things and also to realize that life goes on.
-Improve the relationship with your children: Perhaps the fact that they have left home serves to have better communication than before, for example.
It is important that we remember that the relationship with our children will not end because they leave home, but that it will develop in a different way and that as in any other relationship, in order for it to be maintained it is necessary to continue building and fostering it.
