Your Vulnerability Grows When You Sacrifice Your Essence
Have you stopped being yourself to please others? Have you become who you were not to like more? When you sacrifice your essence, you lose yourself to the point of forgetting who you really are. You no longer know what you like, or what you want. You have given the key of your life to others.
When you sacrifice your essence and show yourself as others wish, you are paying a high price for approval and a false sense of appreciation. Because in reality it is not you who like them but your appearance. The mirage that you show them.
You are not aware that life is not about seeing who sacrifices more so that others accept it, but about discovering oneself and then offering the best that one has. Now, if you decide to be who others want, you will make yourself vulnerable to their manipulations and the discomfort caused by being who you are not.
When you sacrifice your essence you start to suffer
From the moment you sacrifice your essence, suffering becomes a constant in your life. Your gaze will be directed towards the people who are part of your environment and concern will invade you along with guilt. You will be in a permanent state of alert, especially in the face of possible criticism and disapproval.
This situation, instead of making you happy, will cause you to spend whole nights crying. Anxiety and stress have settled permanently, “you have to …”, “you must be …” are your habitual thoughts. You do not know where this state of nervousness and demand comes from.
It seems like your opinion doesn’t count, it doesn’t even exist anymore. Only what others say is okay. What’s more, at no time do you question the way you act with them. You give it your all! But … have you ever wondered why you are not feeling well? Why, despite doing everything they ask and that is supposed to be correct, do you have that feeling of being out of place?
Beyond pleasing others
From a young age you have been taught to please others. To shake hands when the other needs it, offer your support and encouragement and be understanding of their shortcomings.
You are very flexible with others and sometimes you forgive blunders. But it seems that the same treatment is not the one you give yourself. You whip and demand, wanting to be perfect … You think that if you don’t do things right, they won’t accept or love you.
You think that if you say “no” they will reject and hate you, even that a friend will stop being so. However, what would happen if someone around you behaved like this? You would understand, right? So … why don’t you give yourself the license to be who you are, to say what you think and want and be sincere once and for all?
Often times, we have a blurred concept of how we have to be and therefore, we put ourselves aside when in reality we are the only protagonists of our lives. Our spotlight is lost, it illuminates the wrong location, and we pay a high price for it.
We don’t take care of ourselves, we worry about others, we deceive ourselves, we pretend, we lie… All because of a few smiles and a few compliments. What are we doing?
It is time to strengthen your self-esteem
When you sacrifice your essence in favor of others, your self-esteem is most likely on the ground. Therefore, you depend on others to be happy, even if you don’t even succeed.
What if that friend stopped talking to you? What would happen if your partner left you? What if the boss fired you from your job tomorrow?
In any of these situations, you would have to deal with yourself. Alone. You would meet that person whom you have put aside because of the handful of smiles that others offered you. The one to which you returned a grimace of sadness and even denied it.
There are moments in life when you have no choice but to pick up the pieces in which you have broken due to the little attention you have given yourself. It is the only way to strengthen your self-esteem.
It is not selfish to take care of yourself, to take care of you in moments of desolation and sadness. Wanting to be alone and not seeing anyone is totally legal. You need to pamper yourself, listen to yourself, be with you.
That time you waste pleasing others is not being fruitful. It makes you vulnerable and toxic people can use it to manipulate you at will. Forget about always being for and for others and dedicate yourself to being for and for yourself.
