Criticizing Makes Us Unhappy
We all do: criticize from time to time. Sometimes it is even necessary, it allows us to establish a distance and make a judgment from which to make a decision. It is often said that the best criticisms are constructive, that is, those that can allow the recipient to obtain clear and direct information about the situation.
Personal criticisms that do not lead to anything tend to remain in the air and sometimes even in the ear of the person who receives them. They are a way of venting feelings and thoughts through an offense to a second person. Sometimes they hurt and can cause damage that not all of us are aware of.
Destructive criticism and unhappiness
Recently, a study from Wake Forest University brought to light something that we probably already sensed. People who know how to relativize things and who are used to looking at the best in their peers are usually the happiest.
On the other hand, those who live criticizing not only third parties, but every aspect of what surrounds them, are generally profiles that tend to negativity, unhappiness and even depression.
If we regularly show a positive perception of other people, in general, we tend to demonstrate a fairly balanced personal satisfaction. This is at least what this study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology tells us.
You also don’t have to worry if you occasionally throw a needed critique. Sometimes, as we have indicated before, it is necessary. We criticize to establish distances, to defend ourselves against something. Of that work situation in which we are immersed. Of the politicians who govern our country. Of that person who hurts us and to whom, we have to let them know.
All of this is, in essence, constructive criticism. They have a clear purpose and serve to defend us against something in particular, but also to make us think and sometimes even to unite as a group. Criticisms sometimes show the needs of the same group in particular, people who need to react against something.
Beware of criticizing, it can do a lot of damage
However, it is common that on many occasions we are affected by a destructive criticism. How should we deal with it? It is best to avoid falling into a dispute. Time and energy are wasted. Pride can cloud us without getting anywhere. It would be advisable to face negative reviews by sharpening a good positive response.
Always with courage and balance, more balance than the person who tries to hurt us. We will try to be honest, direct and always looking for an appropriate reaction that does not complicate the situation even more.
The ideal would certainly be to allow the other person to be aware of their personal limitations and problems. Of that need to hurt. In turn, issue a constructive criticism with which said individual can make a small and subtle act of “constriction” and self-analysis.
But we have to remember it, most of the time criticism is a reflection of our personal emptiness, of our cravings, of those hidden desires that we see in other people and that bother us. Of those problems not overcome and that we do not know how to face.
Before criticizing someone, ask yourself why you do it. If you value that it is a necessary criticism, let him know in person so that it is something constructive, so that it has a specific purpose. The continuous criticism ends up filling our environment with a tense negativity where little by little, it will be difficult for us to breathe. Open windows and be consistent.
