What Do I Do To Deal With An Emotionally Distant Person?
Is there someone in your environment with whom you have difficulties communicating? Are your conversations trivial and when it comes time to talk about something that really involves you, can’t you? Can you share many things with this person, but when you talk about his emotions, he closes? If all this happens to you with someone, it is very likely that we are talking about an emotionally distant person.
Emotionally distant people are often referred to as “cold people.” They seem to have no feeling, some may even point to them as stone-hearted, immutable, etc. Many qualifiers that indicate an attitude that we judge, but that very few understand.
What is an emotionally distant person like?
These types of people, who are characterized by putting a distance from other people, can seem unconcerned in relation to the problems of others. They tend to put up barriers to prevent the other from entering, despite the attempts that the other may make.
In addition, they have serious difficulties creating and staying in spaces of emotional intimacy with the other. Some may show a degree of lack of empathy and compassion, be very critical, and even isolate themselves.
Keep in mind and make it clear that an emotionally distant person is not an introvert. Introverts need more time to show their true attributes and who they are, but by no means do they put an emotional distance.
Some of the reasons why these people have developed this type of personality are related to their primary bonds and losses during childhood : parents, siblings and those who were the first caregivers. If during the first years of life there were failed links, deep traces will undoubtedly remain in the child.
Thus, feeling frustrated and abandoned, you need to close in such a way so that they do not harm you again. This is why, as adults, we meet these people who cannot communicate what is happening to them. It is a way they have to protect themselves.
Other reasons why these people have these characteristics are related to more current factors, such as stress, mistrust and doubts. Although it takes time to dismantle these ideas or structures, the approach will be productive at some point.
How to communicate with emotionally distant people?
First of all, it is necessary to assess the situation to know what we are dealing with. It is necessary to find in which areas it is more difficult to enter and which not. If you find an area where the person is comfortable and can share a little more, it may be important to start there.
You can verbalize some of what is happening to you. Communicate it in a simple way and without claims. Make it clear that you want to know what is wrong with him, always making it clear that you do not want to pressure him. Try to leave your emotions out, do not transform it into something yours. It is very important that the person does not feel it as a demand, but as a space in which it will not be judged or evaluated.
Accept your limitations. Accept that it may take a lot of tries until the person can open up, and that they may give you minimal back. However, even if it is a very small advance for you, it may have taken an enormous effort for the emotionally distant person to get there; therefore, you must value it.
Also, accept that he may never open up to you, or that you simply tire yourself out sooner. It is important to pay attention to what works and what does not, what sustains the opening and what causes the person to close. But knowing what we just described here, perhaps now you know better how to approach that relationship and what to do and what not to do to benefit that person.
Do you know any emotionally distant person? Do you think it is possible to achieve some kind of rapprochement with these cold people? How would you start a romantic relationship with her?
