A Person Who Wants Revenge Keeps His Open Wounds

It is one of the emotions that practically all of us have experienced, but the one we talk about the least, is the desire for revenge. When they hurt us or our loved ones, being victims of great humiliation, it is easier for us to fill ourselves with hatred and seek revenge than to forgive. 

We feel that we have the “right” to avenge the outrage or to repay the damage received. Behind this thirst for retaliation lies the idea that once we achieve our goal, we will feel better. Revenge seems to be one of our deepest instincts, and like all other instincts or passions they have survived because they have an evolutionary purpose. Thus, regarding revenge there is the theory that it has a protective function within the social context.

However, in most cases revenge does not bring any benefit, it only serves to cause pain to others. In fact, we cannot forget that revenge is not synonymous with justice, but that it always hides negative feelings and emotions such as resentment and hatred.

The emotion that consumes more than it releases

Emotional revenge comes loaded with negative emotions that control our thoughts and, ultimately, our behaviors. Emotions such as rage, anger and resentment affect us directly, increasing the degree of daily stress, making us more vulnerable to illness.

In the emotional aspect, we will always feel in a loop, as if we could not let a past event pass: it gives us energy, but at the same time it consumes us. Revenge is one of the emotions that can cause the most damage, both for the one who carries it and for the one who is the object of it;  Not only does it create immense emotional discomfort, but it also leads us to unethical behavior.

The worst thing about this feeling is that,  once the desire for revenge is satisfied, most of the time we do not receive the reinforcement we expected : we realize that the damage we have caused has not served to make us feel better . This emotion will consume us in a spiral of hatred and contempt towards ourselves, because it is difficult in the cold to renew ourselves in what we have done and that before we thought so justified.

Closing wounds is an act of emotional maturity

We have all ever felt like taking revenge on someone, wrongly or not, leading us to experience numerous negative emotions and a hermetic discomfort. Only by rejecting these poisonous emotions have we been able to stay with the reality of the situations and with the positive they have brought us.

When resentment stands out above the rest of emotions, we will only look at the negative aspects of the person we consider to be the cause of our pain, skewing the positive and emphasizing their harmful characteristics. Thus, we run the risk of falling into the illusion of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Only when the filter of resentment changes, due to time or because there is no room in us for the emotions that distort us, can we see the effect of resentment on our judgments. The reflective look is that resentment is a personal consideration of what others do to us, and the considerations change depending on the prism with which we look at them.

To live away from conflict, you have to change the negative filters, because there is no filter more harmful and distorting more than the one that ends up revealing itself against yourself. If we have to choose a filter to look at, let it be that of affection: I may have distorted the same, but I assure you that it is more productive and will make both you and the people who look through it feel better.