Don’t Let The Unexpected Paralyze You

Changes, while unavoidable, are not always welcome. While some people see them as opportunities to get out of the routine, for others they can be a real emotional shock. If this is your case, we share some guidelines that you can put into practice so that the unforeseen does not paralyze you.

How we react when pushed outside of our comfort zone is determined by genetics as well as by our life experiences. However, by modifying our attitudes and behaviors we can reduce the impact of unforeseen events in our lives. 

Don’t let the unforeseen paralyze you

1. Accept

The first step is to accept that the unexpected is part of life. We cannot control everything that happens around us and it is not healthy to try. Worry about an uncertain future does not change what will happen, but it does prevent us from enjoying what is happening.

However, it is essential to differentiate acceptance from resignation. When you resign, you assume the role of victim and position yourself in suffering, powerlessness and defenselessness. Feelings of bitterness and resentment wash over you as you constantly wonder why this has happened to you. Ultimately, by resigning you focus on the problem and your inability to do anything about it.

On the contrary, accepting means focusing on action. When I accept I stop fighting against the current and I let myself flow. I understand that getting frustrated and cursing incessantly only drains my energy and sinks my mood. Instead I decide, calmly, to find alternatives of action to solve the problem and to maintain my emotional balance.

2. Improve your self-confidence

A popular saying states that a bird perched in a tree is never afraid that the branch will break because its trust does not lie in the branch, but in its wings. In the same way, a person who trusts in his own coping skills will not feel afraid of change. Working on our self-esteem will be key, but to develop our self-confidence we have to take action.

When we face a situation and overcome it, our confidence in ourselves rises considerably. Set a precedent in which we were able to emerge gracefully from difficult circumstances, and we turn to it when we encounter a similar event again. Therefore, trust will not develop if we never test ourselves.

3. keep calm

Some people have a greater ability to regulate their emotions, while others can be easily overwhelmed by them. When an unpleasant event surprises us, anxiety, anger or sadness can flood us and the associated cognitive, emotional and physiological symptoms can be so intense that they cloud our judgment.

This leads us to behave in a reactive and uncontrolled way. In such a situation we are not masters of our actions and we may come to regret it. On the contrary, if we are able to remain calm we can act in a conscious and deliberate way. From this position our actions will be directed to a purpose.

Regularly practicing relaxation techniques can be of great help in this goal. Likewise, meditation or mindfulness are tools that bring us closer to greater control over our emotional states.

4. Find the balance between processing and acting

When an unforeseen event surprises us, it is important that we take time to process the emotional shock and associated feelings. However, it is equally important to get going and act. A lack of emotional processing can lead to long-term negative consequences, but a passive attitude can lead us to stagnate in discomfort. Let’s try to find the balance between both aspects.

When the unexpected paralyzes you, take distance

In short, when events occur that are beyond your control, try to take a deep breath and broaden your perspective. Remember that it is not in your power to change what happened, but to decide how to feel, what actions to take and what learning to take from the experience. 

Work on your own abilities and learn to regulate your emotions. If you have peace within yourself, the capacity of the outside to disturb you will be significantly reduced. Finally, once you find yourself immersed in change, don’t go into denial. Allow yourself to feel and get going, everything will get better.