7 Tips To Build Resilience In Children

We would save ourselves a lot of problems if we developed some capacities from children. One of them, undoubtedly fundamental, is resilience. Building resilience is possible from childhood. It is not necessary that more years pass for the little one to acquire this valuable attitude.

Let us remember that resilience is that capacity that allows the human being to stay afloat in the face of adversities , overcome them and strengthen from them. Children’s problems are, of course, of a different dimension than adults. But this is not to say that resilience cannot be built.

Here we present a series of strategies that will help you promote resilience in children. These are simple and even obvious actions, which, nevertheless, often lead to oblivion. Do not let this happen, surely  a child will thank you all his life for helping him to be more resilient.

Learn to make friends

To build resilience, you need to teach him to make friends. Isolation is a factor that promotes insecurity and fear. An isolated child is a child to pay attention to. Remember that not all children have a great ability to manage socially, so it is good that we give them a hand in this task.

How to teach him to make friends? Be careful, not having friends can be a very sensitive topic for a child. Therefore, it is never a good idea to pinpoint you as the culprit in that situation. If we do, it is likely that he will adopt one of two attitudes: withdrawing in himself to protect himself or making desperate and sometimes even dangerous attempts to get someone to accept him.

On the other hand, a child who has no friends is usually an insecure child. Therefore we as adults have to reinforce that security by telling him everything he does well in social contexts. We can also correct him, but always focusing on specific behaviors and only in front of people the child trusts.

That he learns to help others to foster

Solidarity and cooperation are essential for emotional development. If the child learns to help others, he will feel more useful and valuable. It will also strengthen your ability to establish empathy. This in the future will be one of the pillars of his psychological strength.

Think that the best way to encourage helping others is with your example. First helping him and incidentally promoting that attitude in the family. Play is also an ideal way for you to see for yourself the benefits of teamwork.

Establish and maintain a routine

Establishing a routine is essential for children, especially for the little ones. It gives them a sense of security and stability. It lessens their fears and anxieties because they know what is going to happen next. In addition, the routine allows the child to assess whether he is living “correctly” or not.

In principle, there should be times for going to bed and getting up. Also the meal times must be very defined. The same should happen with times for school, homework and even breaks. These schedules should only be altered if there are force majeure reasons.

Learn to take care of yourself

If what we want is to promote resilience, the child has to learn to be responsible with a motivation on the horizon: their own well-being. This does not mean that you need to take care of yourself. Rather, you should think about your physical and emotional well-being when you are alone and not supported by parents or adults in the family.

That he learns to rest

Rest is as important as work. To  carry out activities properly, it is good that the body is rested and the mind clear. For example, it is useless to study a lot if we do not let our mind assimilate and process all that knowledge with which we work.

As we have said in the previous points, it is good that you set an example and you also respect the rest time. On the other hand, resting does not necessarily mean being without doing anything, simply in many cases we can achieve its benefits by doing activities that do not require a high level of attention.

Learn to set goals

This is a momentous element. It is good for your child to learn to set reasonable goals based on his abilities and resources. The fact that you learn to set goals that are going to take effort, but which you can achieve at the same time, is going to be a huge boost to your self-esteem. Either in childhood or throughout life.

On the  other hand, more than achievement goals, the child needs achievement goals at this stage. This means that, for example, instead of asking you to achieve a certain grade in school, rather the goal should be for you to learn good study skills and put them into practice for a while every day. Celebrate that he did. Make him see that this in itself is a great achievement.

May he learn to see difficulties as a challenge

There are many small everyday events that the child sees as great difficulties. Remember that they are fragile and immature beings. For them, not being able to reach the jar that is on a shelf can be a source of great frustration.

It is there where it is good that you go in and turn that “big problem” into something relaxed, that can be solved. Show him with your attitude that the anguish is over. When he is a little older, evaluate with him, animatedly, how the situation can be resolved.

If you apply these simple tips you will help the child to be more resilient. It is one of those gifts that, if given in childhood, avoid many problems at that stage and in future stages. Fostering resilience, therefore, is one of the great challenges of parenting.

Images courtesy of Adrian Sommeling, Josephine Wall.