Practice Self-love To Be Happy

It is almost always the same story: we are more aware of what others want, of our obligations and commitments than of what we want, and what is the result? Disenchantment. We survive longer than we live and as a consequence we get the loss of our dreams and the disconnection from ourselves. With the “duty that” and the “having to” we close the access to that level of our interior.

When someone does not take into account and does it for a while, they end up waking up one day thinking that their life is far from being the one they wanted.  The conformity of dedicating oneself to what has been appearing, along with what others demanded of him, usually plays a trick: taking us to a place where we feel strange.

The conformity trap

Many of us are good examples of that great deficit towards the personal, that is not selfish, that has invaded a large part of our society. A progressive change that hurts us more than benefits, but that most of the time we know how to hide – from others and from ourselves – through conformity.

The creativity of childhood and the passion that drives us in our adolescence are lost in oblivion, turning off the light that has made us shine until then. It is enough to look around us and observe how people dedicate themselves to jobs they do not love, settle for their relationships and undo dreams because it seems that they need too high a flight capable of bordering on the utopian.

The illusion disappears because we conform and our growth stops. The comfort zone is too nice to bear fear, frustration, and uncertainty. We opted for plan B: how simple, what touches, what makes you lose the rudder of our flight.

You are not selfish, you are taking care of yourself

From time to time, it is convenient to have an emotional check-up to see how we are doing. Asking ourselves how we feel about our life in general and about our work, our relationships, and what we do in particular will provide us with clues about our well-being.

When the result is feelings of disappointment and disappointment, it is very likely that we find ourselves living our lives as supporting actors and actresses. The problem is that, even knowing that we have to dedicate more time to ourselves, there is a question that worries us and freezes us: if we do it, will we be selfish?

Are we selfish when we go out to find what we need and it does us good? Let me tell you, no, you are just taking care of yourself. The only love that lasts forever is self-love, so if you don’t take care of maintaining it, who will? It is not convenient to settle for discounts …

Nobody is selfish for waking up and saying “no” or “enough”, or for keeping minutes to himself and not being 100% available to the demands of his environment. Nothing happens because you have decided to stop being the one who was always for everyone, but never for himself. Better late than never.

Invest in yourself, don’t forget!

You may have become an expert in knowing in detail what your parents, your partner or your friends want from you, the problem is that you have little or nothing to think about what you want yourself. But knowing it is as vital as breathing, as it affects your self-esteem and your emotional well-being.

Given this, the best solution is to invest in self-love. It is time to light the flame of love for us. For it:

• Consider yourself a valuable person. Your value transcends beyond your mistakes and failures. You are not your results but your ability to recover. Love towards you is very important.
• Forget about pleasing others to be okay. Pleasing can exhaust you and ultimately destroy you. Nobody is selfish for saying what they think, as long as they do it with respect and setting healthy limits to protect themselves.

• Set your priorities. To invest in yourself you have to know what your priorities are: what or who do you want to spend more or less time on to continue building your dreams.
• Enjoy your times. A day off or finally, that long-awaited weekend. Make the most of your time and leave out your obligations. You are the main protagonist of your life, not a supporting actor.

If you are one of those people who has been disconnected with your interior for a long time, I anticipate that listening to your internal dialogue at deep levels again is a task that will take time. Think of all the walls you have built, all the times you have ignored yourself: being able to hear that language again is not a skill that is perfected for a moment. However, if you have patience, you will succeed and I already anticipate that what you will recover will be worth it, both for you and for those around you.