5 Keys To Overcome A Love Rejection

Nobody likes to be given pumpkins. In the love of a couple many of our hopes, our emptiness and our traumas are at stake. For this reason, overcoming a love rejection is sometimes not so easy. It always depends on many circumstances.

The loss of a great love can be devastating if we carry within us an unhealthy seed of feelings of abandonment. Likewise, when it catches us at an age, or at a time in life in which we are highly vulnerable. If there is cheating, or mistreatment, it can also become very difficult to overcome a love rejection.

Despite everything, you can always. Getting up and moving on is never easy, but it’s not impossible either. In the task of overcoming a love rejection, sometimes it helps to follow some basic advice. These are some of those keys that could make the journey easier.

1. Check the wound to overcome a love rejection

The first thing you should do, even if it hurts, is to remove the improvised bandage and check the true dimension of your wound . What was it that you really lost? It is important that you answer that question with the utmost honesty. Sometimes we do not lose the great love of our life, as we believe, but a series of illusions and expectations that we had placed in that relationship.

It is also possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes life hurts more, the ego. Perhaps we bring back a certain doubt about our worth, with our self-esteem already wounded. The loss only shows us that reality without anesthesia. To overcome a love rejection we must break down what was really committed there.

2. Express yourself by all possible means

Feelings that are not expressed often become sources of discomfort. Especially when it comes to negative feelings. That is why all possible channels must be opened to manifest them.

Those channels are many, not just talking about what happened over and over again. It can be written, for example. As many times as necessary. You can paint that pain. Also, you can even dance. Everything that allows those feelings to be removed is valid to overcome a love rejection.

However, we must bear in mind that the expression of our pain has a limit. It is recommended to remove that pain, express it, but without prolonging it too much in time. This could cause the pain to flare up over and over again. Popularly we usually say, “add fuel to the fire.” It is important to distinguish between venting and rejoicing in that pain. And there is a fine line that separates them and we must be careful.

3. Manage focus

Due to the psychological impact of the loss, the thought is usually filled with a gloomy mantle. Without realizing it, you start to look only at the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly choose the most painful interpretations of events and focus on everything bad in the world.

It is important that you do not get carried away by this. What you need to do is refocus your attention in a way that is more constructive for you. Do not allow pain to invade your whole being, because it is a path that only leads to bitterness. Strive to bring positive thoughts to mind. Commit your will to appreciate all the good that still remains. This will be of great help to overcome a love rejection.

4. Free yourself from stereotypical thoughts

The culture insists that a loss or failure is totally undesirable. It is fully proven that this is not true. First, because such situations are unavoidable. All human beings pass through there. And second, because there is no greater opportunity to grow than difficult experiences.

Really the problem is not the loss but our way of facing this loss. There are those who face it better and those who face it worse. This should make us think that there is no single way to deal with a problem. Rather, we can choose (even if it is hard to believe) how to relate to the problem itself.

A loving rejection is not the end of the world. So there are soap operas and songs that say it. Quite the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What must happen happens. And it is always positive, if you want it to be positive.

5. Take the opportunity to make changes in your life

If you feel like you can’t go on living like this, great. It is time for you to focus on change. Do not think about the person you lost, but about the other aspects of your life. There is always something to discard, there is always something to undertake. Concentrate on that.

Nothing better to overcome a love rejection than to introduce news. Learning something new is always an excellent alternative. It is an activity that occupies your mind and that raises your eyes so that you can focus on new horizons. It is also advisable to start frequenting new social circles or make an effort to introduce new habits.

You should be aware that nothing you do will automatically take the pain away. Wounds to the heart always take time. Do not rush. Tolerate suffering and think that it also helps you grow. Feed hope and do not fall into isolation or victimhood. Trust that everything will be fine, haven’t you gotten up before?

What does the research tell us?

Overcoming a love rejection is not easy and each one faces it as they think is best. However, this event has not gone unnoticed by researchers. Thus, in a study carried out by García and Ilabaca (2013) they offer us some keys to overcome a love rejection in the best possible way:

• Through social support. Seeking support from our loved ones is one way to seek comfort and advice. In this way, we are strengthened in this type of situation.

• Emotional expression  Expressing our emotions contributes to our emotional improvement.
• Avoidant. They assure that when there is no possibility of reconciliation, avoidance allows the rejection situation to be processed at a cognitive level. In this way, avoidance helps the grieving process and to continue living with higher levels of well-being.