4 Keys To Connect With Who You Want

Every relationship begins with a connection. This is how friendships begin and love grows. Knowing how to connect helps us to be better friends, better lovers, better parents, better companions, better bosses. Knowing how to connect allows us to create a greater impact on people’s lives and greatly enriches our own lives.

Connecting also allows us to grow in our careers, because it helps us reach out to others, whether it be to close the deal, to encourage our co-workers or to communicate more effectively.

In principle, connecting with people who are similar to us is relatively easy. When we have common interests and personalities, it is quite easy to create that connection. However, connecting with people who are very different from us can be quite difficult.

But we cannot always aspire to associate with people with whom the connection is easy. In fact, on many occasions we have to face people with whom it can be very difficult to connect, but doing so is essential. The successful relationship with a co-worker, a boss, a client, a son, a student, a neighbor, even our own partner can depend on it.

How to connect with anyone you know

Being skillful at making connections will allow you to start relationships on the right foot, solve problems or facilitate their solution, and move forward in your personal and professional life with a greater chance of success. Here are some effective ways to do this.

Pay attention

Something as basic as listening to the other and paying attention to them can be the key to connecting with that person from the first moment and to maintaining the connection . By actively listening to the other you are sending a clear message: I care about you.

For listening to be active and seem like it, it is good that you seek and maintain a visual connection with your interlocutor. People who look into the eyes are able to connect better with others because they show interest, respect and self-confidence.

Also, it is important that you ignore any external elements that threaten to interrupt the conversation. For example, instead of answering the phone or checking your mobile messages as soon as you receive a notification, silence the device. If someone claims you, kindly tell them to wait.

Seek feedback and ask questions

To improve your ability to connect with others, it is important that you seek feedback. An effective way to do this is by asking questions. Questions focused on getting to know the other are a good way to do this, as people love to talk about themselves.

When you give others the opportunity to talk about themselves and you actively listen to them, you give them the opportunity to open up to you, to share the best of themselves, to show themselves as they are or how they want others to know them.

Even if you do not say anything about yourself or speak little, the other will have the feeling of having had an excellent conversation with you. Even if they hardly know anything about you, the other will have the feeling of having a lot in common with you.

Remember his name

We have all met people who recognize that they are very bad with names. But that’s not a good way to connect with others. If you are bad at it, you will have to do your best to remember the names of the people you know. Remembering the name of the person you are talking to is key to making them feel important and creating an effective connection. 

Calling people by name sends them a message of concern, respect and trust. When you call the other by their name you make them feel important. And when people feel important they are more open and receptive.

Don’t pretend to show that you know everything and care about others

By talking to other people, we often want to show that we are polite and well informed. It can be difficult for some people to admit that they are learning something new for the first time. This can be a barrier to admitting advice or improving our skills. Many may consider you arrogant and lacking in humility.

To achieve an effective connection it is advisable to be aware of your own ego and control the way you behave. You need to be willing to learn from others. When talking to others, don’t try to show that you know everything.

Instead of focusing on demonstrating something, focus on caring for the other, adding value to their words, being encouraging and positive, offering support and offering help. Let the other know that you appreciate them, that you care, and that you care. Small details like remembering a date or asking about someone you care about is a very effective way to connect with others.